sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
