i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
