ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
