the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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