So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
