im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
