Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
