so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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