Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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