her vagine was all disorganized.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
