I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
