I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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