so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
