You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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