our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
