Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
