Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
