so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
