Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
