I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
