you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
