it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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