we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Boobs speak an international language.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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