There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
