this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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