I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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