Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
