She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
