she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I enjoy the company of your penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
