Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
