How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
