brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
