I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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