there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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