I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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