did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
