Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
