that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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