You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
