If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
