There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
