she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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