Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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