we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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