I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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