Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
