I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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