what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
