nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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