it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
