i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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